In 2007 I lost my fiance to a drunk driver.  I had never experienced a loss like this and I wasn’t sure how to cope and grieve.  I grew up in church.  I accepted Christ in my heart at 7 years old.  But when Shane died, I felt betrayed and angry at God.  So I turned my back and walked away from Him.  I turned to a life of drugs, alcohol, self harming and sex.  To try and fill that emptiness and pain that I was feeling.  I had 4 miscarriages.  I attempted suicide several times with no luck.  Every time I should have died, God spared me.  I couldn’t understand why He wouldn’t just let me die.  But one day 7 years later as I sit recovering from my last suicide attempt, my eyes were opened in a way they never had been before.  All those years all I saw was me and my pain.  I didn’t see my family and friends that I had hurt along the way.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  It’s been 3 years.  God opened my eyes and showed me, not only the love from my family but His unconditional, perfect, pure love.  I have a beautiful daughter now, who just turned 2 and I’m starting my new career next week.  I thank God everyday for sparing me one more time and for opening my eyes and showing me His love.